Yearning for Perfect Love

When we act out of loneliness our actions easily become violent. The tragedy is that much violence comes from a demand for love. When loneliness drives our search for love, kissing easily leads to biting, caressing to hitting, looking tenderly to looking suspiciously, listening to overhearing, and surrender to rape. The human heart yearns for love: love without conditions, limitations, or restrictions. But no human being is capable of offering such love, and each time we demand it we set ourselves on the road to violence.

How then can we live nonviolent lives? We must start by realizing that our restless hearts, yearning for perfect love, can only find that love through communion with the One who created them.

Creating Space to Dance Together

When we feel lonely we keep looking for a person or persons who can take our loneliness away. Our lonely hearts cry out, “Please hold me, touch me, speak to me, pay attention to me.” But soon we discover that the person we expect to take our loneliness away cannot give us what we ask for. Often that person feels oppressed by our demands and runs away, leaving us in despair. As long as we approach another person from our loneliness, no mature human relationship can develop. Clinging to one another in loneliness is suffocating and eventually becomes destructive. For love to be possible we need the courage to create space between us and to trust that this space allows us to dance together.

It was sad to me how she perceived a single’s valentine’s day. In all honesty my married Valentine’s day were usually sad days for me. Because we can fill Valentine’s day with such romantic expectation. And yet, only one can ever truly meet those expectations. So, when I was single I made Valentine’s Day rock. I dressed all up, went to a great restaurant with some of my closest friends, wrote them cards about what they meant to me and ate until I was sick! I didn’t care if I had to un button my pants just to get out of the building!

Singleness is not a death sentence. It is as I say all the time, “The only season in life where God has you all to himself.” How we live it is up to us. We can dread it, wish it away, and gain nothing from the experience. Or we can embrace it, enjoy it and figure out how beautifully designed our own hearts are while not having to care for someone else’s. A friend recently shared these three beautiful devotions with me by one of my favorite authors Henri Nouwen. May they speak to you over these next three days….

Finding Solitude – Henri Nouwen

All human beings are alone. No other person will completely feel like we do, think like we do, act like we do. Each of us is unique, and our aloneness is the other side of our uniqueness. The question is whether we let our aloneness become loneliness or whether we allow it to lead us into solitude. Loneliness is painful; solitude is peaceful. Loneliness makes us cling to others in desperation; solitude allows us to respect others in their uniqueness and create community.

Letting our aloneness grow into solitude and not into loneliness is a lifelong struggle. It requires conscious choices about whom to be with, what to study, how to pray, and when to ask for counsel. But wise choices will help us to find the solitude where our hearts can grow in love.

But as I was perusing it today there was a really well written article with some good tips- for those with and without children.

Today Show- Divorce

Thought you might find it interesting.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/alison-patton/the-12-steps-for-divorce_b_811726.html

Yes, eating leftovers is an art. I’d admit that if you just loaded up a Thanksgiving-style plate every day for lunch and dinner, you’d tire of them rather quickly. Instead, the key here is to take those leftovers and turn them into something new and different than the Thanksgiving meal they came from. Here are a few tips to get you started.

* Look for different seasonings and flavors. Fried rice made with leftover vegetables tastes nothing like stuffing and mashed potatoes, so it will keep you and your family interested in what you’re eating.
* Think outside the box. Don’t limit yourself to the obvious – turkey sandwiches. Instead, think of new and different ways you can stretch those leftovers. Can turkey pieces be added to calzone pockets instead?
* Mix it up. Mashed potatoes make a great canvas for things like potato dumplings when you add in a bit of flour and baking powder.

Here are two of my favorite turkey leftover meals.

Turkey Shepherd’s Pie

1 cup leftover turkey, diced
1 cup frozen carrot coins (or other vegetable)
1 cup leftover or blanched green beans
2 tablespoons fresh herbs (thyme, rosemary, oregano)
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 cup heavy cream
1⁄4 teaspoon nutmeg
1 teaspoon salt
Black pepper to taste
2 cups leftover mashed potatoes
1 generous tablespoon cream

Preheat oven to 350°F. Mix together turkey, carrots, green beans, fresh herbs and garlic and place in a 2-quart baking dish. In a small bowl or measuring cup, mix cream with nutmeg, salt and pepper. Pour cream over the top of the vegetables. Reheat potatoes just slightly to make them easier to work with and stir in the remaining tablespoon of cream. Add them into a large piping bag and pipe over the top of the vegetables.

Bake covered at 350°F for 40 minutes. Remove the cover and bake for an additional 20 minutes to allow potatoes to brown slightly. Let rest 10-15 minutes before serving.

Cream of Turkey and Wild Rice Soup

4 tablespoons butter
2 cups mirepoix (diced onions, celery and carrots)
1⁄2 cup sliced mushrooms (optional)
1⁄4 cup flour
3 cups chicken stock
1⁄4 cup sherry or dry white wine
1 cup cooked leftover wild rice (white or brown rice can also be used)
1 cup leftover turkey, chopped

Heat one tablespoon of butter in a large stockpot over medium heat. Add in mirepoix and mushrooms (if using) and sauté for 10 minutes until vegetables are tender. Add in the remaining butter and melt. Whisk in flour and continue to cook for approximately 3 minutes until roux is a nice, golden brown color.

Stir in chicken broth until there are no lumps left. Add sherry, rice and turkey. Allow to simmer 20 minutes until heated through. Taste and season with salt and pepper as needed*. Serve with leftover dinner rolls.

*You’ll need to add more or less salt depending on how seasoned your stock is.

Shaina Olmanson is the home cook and photographer behind Food for My Family, where she shares recipes, tips, opinions and her philosophy on food as she wades through the process of feeding her family, her friends and anyone else who will let her. She strives to teach her four children how to eat well: seasonally, locally, organically, deliciously and balanced.